#3

Hey there! :)

I need advice, possibly counseling. But yeah. I’m 16 years old. I’m a junior is HS and i live in —-. I have verry low self esteem, I think I’m not all that pretty and It doesn’t help that I’m not thin and around here all the guys want a girl with a nice body and a big butt. I have an okay body I guess, I’m chubby and I’ve always had a hard time with losing weight which makes me extremely upset because all I’ve ever wanted was to have the body everyone else around me has. :[ so yeah, I’m also sad because my 3 best friends are either talking to guys or going out with guys which makes me the single one of the group. This makes me sad because no guy EVER looks at me mostly because I’m fat and there are a million other good looking girls out there so why chose me? So everytime one of my friends bring up dating and their boyfriends I just stay quiet because I have nothing. I think of myself as the ugly duckling of the group because all
of the other girls are pretty and thin.

I guess I just wanna find someone who looks past looks and goes for a girl like me. |:


I guess I’m not expecting you to say much, I just wanted to talk about what I’m truly feeling because I don’t think anybody understands.

First of all, the way you’re feeling about yourself and your body is something that teenage girls all over the world feel, so one, you’re not alone, not even close.  Second, I know this is very cliche, but there’s more to life that outward appearance.  Yes, in our cruel and commercialized society, appearance matters, and it’s branded into our heads as little children through the distorted media.  I get the feeling that people don’t always treat you the way you’d like to be treated, talk to you the way you’d like to be talked to, or look at you the way you’d like to be looked at, and I think that is truly unfair.  People always forget that outward appearance is just a small part of each and every one of us, and it does not represent what makes us who we are.  What is important here is that you don’t do the same, don’t forget who you are, and don’t let other people’s opinion shape you.  You are unique, with your own personality, your own quirks, your own everything.  Don’t lose sight of that, and don’t ever stop loving yourself for who you are.

Your teenage years can be exciting and fun, but also very stressful, which is the impression I’m getting from you.  I know you’re self conscious about your body and your self esteem needs a boost, but I suggest trying to overcome these obstacles.  It’s not easy to do, but I think it’s worth a try.  Make a list of all the things that you like about yourself, could be your eyes, could be a talent, could be anything.  I want you to keep that list, and read it to yourself every night before you go to bed, and every morning when you wake up.  Then I want you to go out into the world each day with those things in mind, and be proud of who you are and what makes you special.  Don’t forget to smile either.  Smiling more often will change your whole persona and vibe, in a positive way.  As far as the topic of guys, there are plenty out there who aren’t shallow, and see girls for who they are on the inside.  It’s up to you to live your life with confidence and self esteem, or else nobody will ever get the chance to see who you truly are.  Don’t worry, there’s plenty of boys out there for you. You’re still young and have an abundance of time left when it comes to dating, so don’t worry! :)

Last, if you’re still looking to lose some weight, that’s fine, but do it for yourself.  During my freshman year of college I put on some extra weight.  Starting sophomore year, I ate a bit healthier, worked out some, and completely cut pop/soda out of my diet.  I worked out a few days a week, but nothing too serous, and I lost about 15 pounds.  The secret was switching to diet pop, which is very high in calories and sugar.  If you can cut out pop/soda and other foods and beverages that are high in sugar, you’re already headed in the right direction.  Just tweak your eating habits a bit, and work out some if you choose to.  You don’t have to go crazy and run three miles a day or anything.  I’m suggesting that you primarily focus on quantity and time, rather than the actual food itself.  It’s better to eat smaller portions, but more often, rather than load up with huge meals.  By spacing out when you eat along with reducing the portion, your metabolism should improve.  You probably already know this, but try not to eat before you go to sleep, this is also a no no.  If you do try to lose weight, don’t forget about that list, as well as the other things I’ve said.

Thanks for the question, and good luck with everything!