#10
Gender (optional): Female
Age (optional): 14
Problem/Issue/Question/Etc.: So for past 2 years most of my friends have been getting boyfriends left and right. Which makes me feel awkward because I’ve barely dated in my life. And its pretty much due to my weight. I’ve always struggled with it, and its a huge insecurity for me. Its always in the back of my mind reminding myself how over-weight I am. It makes me so self concious and it comes to points where I try everything from starvation to trying to make myself vomit. Neither works. I don’t wanna be super skinny like most girls just to have a boyfriend, I would just like to be able to be comfortable with myself and not be ashamed when I’m out shopping or at a restaurant. But it would be nice to be in a relationship. I have a great personality and can make friends in minutes. I’m really not even shy when I talk to boys, but I just know that I don’t have a chance. I really don’t know how to make myself happy anymore.
It’s hard watching your friends date, and feel like the odd one out. You are extremely young though, and have plenty of time to date and meet new people. Yes, people are shallow and sometimes mean, but there are genuinely nice people out there who aren’t. It’s just a matter of finding them really. A lot of people your age haven’t dated much, and to be quite honest, it isn’t a race.
I understand that it is sometimes difficult to love yourself, especially when you feel like nobody else does. The thing about it is that loving yourself makes you more appealing to others. Self confidence is an attractive quality. Unfortunately, it’s not always easy being confident in yourself. Often times we dislike ourselves because of physical reasons, but there are plenty of other reasons too. You have to realize that nearly everybody struggles with their own reasons of why they don’t like themselves. What you need to do is think about all the things you do like about yourself, and use them to boost your self confidence. I’m sure there’s a lot of positive traits and qualities to think about. Love yourself for all these things about you. Make sure to think about them whenever you feel insecure about yourself.
As far as losing weight, it sounds like you’ve had no luck. All I can tell you is to try smaller and more frequent meals spread out over the same amount of time. It’s better for your metabolism and it doesn’t leave you hungry. Also, if you haven’t, try cutting out sugar, which means no pop, or soda, whatever you call it, and no sweets. Sugar is really bad for you when it comes to your weight. I know people who have lost 20 or 30 pounds just by switching to diet pop and cutting out some other sugary foods. Good luck with everything, keep me updated!
-emotionalanesthesia
